Days 46 & 47 – Let’s just say the past couple of days have been about a little more and less talk and definitely more action.
I am finding some of the planning parts of this exercise in practicing contentment frustrating. I made a great list. And what I can tell you is that in the unseasonable warmth I got a lot done–just not items on the list. Some of them are half done and a few of them I have already reviewed this morning and wagged a mental finger at myself about. Here’s what I’ve learned over the past couple of days:
- Dust bunnies beneath furniture, like the bunnies wintering in my shrubs, procreate.
- I sometimes need to remember to stop: In order to keep my son on my insurance, papers needed to be run around to offices so that representatives from KP could write out information already in KP’s computers to confirm to other members at KP that conditions still exist. I tried to fix this. Every door slammed shut as they reminded me that he’s an adult. I nervously handed the paperwork over to my son and he got to spend about 2.5 hours of his day off driving from office to office until someone relieved him of the paperwork. It’s not my job anymore.
- It drains every bit of my energy to deal with money-snatchers. I spent about an hour with a garage door repairman in this conversation:
- You quoted me $219.00 on the phone.
- Well, this will cost about $675.00
- You quoted me $219.00 when we discussed this by phone.
- Well, I could do it for $459.00
- I don’t want to waste your time. I thought this would be $219.00.
- Well, I could do this for $250.00.
- Does that include taxes and the trip fee?
- (Eye roll) Yeah, okay.
- Pushing past my comfort zone is not as uncomfortable as it might appear once I start seeing some results.
- We all move at different speeds; even slow motion is forward motion. I have a neighbor whose husband died nearly 3 years ago. She has been surly and rude. She has kept her dead spouse’s truck like a shrine in front of her home. On Friday I dared to speak to her because, to my surprise, she has adopted a dog–a blind dog. We talked for a minute or two and she actually said something resembling a lighthearted remark. A part of me danced on her behalf.
- As soon as I sort of figured out how to shop for one, my son started spending more time here. My groceries have vanished.
- It is both good to have a tribe and okay to allow yourself to lean on them once in a while. Around 4 AM I woke up to whimpering and howling. It took a few seconds to realize it was a pack of coyotes somewhere on the mesa talking to the moon. I looked at my dogs. They were alert with faces pointed toward the window and in a single motion simultaneously swung around, ran from the room, and quieted the neighborhood. They returned as a pack and surrounded me once more. I thought about how easily the world would turn if we as people could come together like a retriever, a boxer/pit and a miniature dachshund, recognizing that we are all part of a tribe no matter our differences.